Plastic Body Parts, EVERYWHERE

The latest season of “Project Runway” has inspired the Demigoddesses to put together all-new rounds of their home version, “Barbie Project Runway.” They choose a theme (ensembles made from things found in the kitchen, for example, or formal gowns made from pages ripped from magazines, etc.), and then hot glue their creations together to outfit their army of Barbie dolls.

Happily, Head Trauma Barbie has made a full recovery, and is once again able to participate in the competition.

My Ho is always the judge. He affects a pseudo-Klum accent (sounding more Fab Five than German supermodel) as he points out the merits or detriments of each creation, which are presented anonymously, of course. So far, he has managed to distribute the wins pretty evenly.

Last weekend’s collection included “fashions made from food,” and was highlighted by breakfast cereal, bow-tie pasta, and toasted pumpkin seeds strategically hot-glued directly to the dolls’ torsos. To me, this looked both uncomfortable and impractical. Plastic flesh does not scorch, of course, but how were these creations going to come off again? According to Demigoddess the Younger, the hot glue “picks off” fairly easily. Who knew?

So anyway, yesterday, when he found this article, My Ho forwarded it to me under a subject line that read, “Maybe this is what the hot-glued Barbies meant...”

No, I thought to myself, more likely it was what the Barbies they threw in the street last summer, to see what would happen when busses ran them over, meant.

And I’m not even going to go into the Jamie Somers/Bionic Woman doll that my sister Meghan once de-boobed (MY Bionic Woman doll, I might add). Suffice it to say, the child had ISSUES.