Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Successful Living with a Teenage Daughter in Four Easy Steps

Step 1—No matter what outrageous, baiting, completely detached from reality utterance comes out of her mouth, DO NOT RESPOND. Do not speak. Don’t even open your mouth.

Step 2—Go directly into your bedroom.

Step 3—Shut the door.

Step 4—Stay there until*:

a) She graduates from high school; or

b) She no longer has any memory whatsoever of what she was angry about in the first place (usually about two hours).

*Alcohol consumption is optional.

6 comments:

Amy said...

I've heard boys are easier...but I dunno. We might have to do a little teenage-parenting-one-upmanship over some wine with knitting needles.

Of course, I don't mean the wine should have knitting needles in it.

Lin said...

If it's any consolation, before you know it they'll be away at college...sob. In the meantime, don't forget to breathe during that two hour hiatus away from the energy of the teen mood.

EverydaySuperGoddess said...

Amy, you're on.

But I'm going to need something more potent than wine. You bring the ice, I'll bring the mixer and the little paper umbrellas.

Demigoddess the Elder said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
whiskeymarie said...

I come from a family of three girls, all hormonal teenagers in the 80's.

You're a saint, as far as I can tell.

Good luck.

Good news is, we're girls, we survived being teenagers, we didn't kill/be killed by our motherfolk.

Drink now, forever hold your peace.

thethinker said...

From the perspective of a teenage girl, those steps work well. My mom uses them all the time.