Monday, May 08, 2006

I'll Be Keeping The Day Job

We didn’t take in a ton of cash, and a sizable pile of junk remains in my garage, but I’d say Saturday’s garage sale was a success… if for no other reason than it turned out to be a damn fine day to sit out on folding chairs next to my driveway display of unwanted crap bargain-priced treasures. The weather was so perfect, I even managed to acquire my first sunburn of the season.

Supplying the electronic toys with fresh batteries turned out to be a very savvy marketing move. Most of them sold, even the Kung Fu Fighting hamsters. My niece, Madge, fell in love with the Furbys, so now they live at sister Meghan’s house. (Ha ha ha... Suckah!)

For future reference, the clothed Barbie dolls sell much better than the naked ones, Japanese people love them some Beanie Babies, and any item that bashes George Bush will sell immediately. At least in my neighborhood.

A portion of my modest cash bonanza went to buy a bag of cinnamon-roasted almonds (the LARGE bag, no less) at the Dome before yesterday’s Twins game. Johan Santana restored my will to live by striking out eleven and going seven hitless innings. Heavens, he is a glorious sight to behold. Torii Hunter made a catch that defied all laws of physics, and by some incomprehensible miracle did not damage himself in the process (see the clip for yourself by clicking the “Torii’s Running Catch” link over here). Louis Castillo hit his first home run of the season, the Twins beat Detroit by two, and the weekend would have been pretty close to perfect if My Ho hadn’t broken a tooth on our very last cinnamon almond during the eighth inning. He says it doesn’t hurt, but still.

All that was left was to decide how best to spend the remainder of my windfall, and I pondered a number of possibilities... until this morning when Demigoddess the Younger informed me that she needed money for a school field trip to the Science Museum, which reminded Demigoddess the Elder that she also needed money for a school field trip to the zoo. I signed the permission slips, doled out the money, and that pretty much killed off the garage sale fund.

I’m sure my current crippling sinus headache is 100% the result of spring allergies and has nothing at all to do with the fact that my garage sale preparations ended up being worth less than two dollars an hour, most of which I didn’t get to spend anyway.

No, no. Nothing at all.

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