The Great Dork Off

Part I

From: CombatGirl
To: EverydaySuperGoddess
Sent: Monday, October 03, 2005
Subject: I am a dork

Yup, I am...do you have any words of wisdom (i.e. meditations, pithy sayings) to address general feelings of dorkiness?


From: EverydaySuperGoddess
To: CombatGirl
Subject: RE: I am a dork

If you're a dork, I'm an even bigger one.

Does that help?


From: CombatGirl
To: EverydaySuperGoddess
Subject: RE: I am a dork

Highlights of dorkiness:

1) After a very uncomfortable couple of hours with (most recent boyfriend) this weekend I've (finally) determined that there's just too much of a disconnect in some of our shared values to keep hanging out. The dorkiness is that I know I'm not the easiest person for someone to be with, but is there anyone out there even close to sharing a page with me, or am I just a total freak?

2) On that note, I spoke with Guy I Have A Crush On a few minutes ago, and gave him a brief outline of my crisis, and I think HE was looking at me like, "You are a total dork. Plus, you're insane." Not quite the effect I was going for. Dork-dom, for sure.

I do not believe you are dorkier than me. I don't think that's possible, for anyone. If there were a Queen of the Dorks, I'd wear the crown, Sister.


From: EverydaySuperGoddess
To: CombatGirl
Subject: RE: I am a dork

You're not a freak. It just didn't work out. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or with him. It just wasn't the right fit for either one of you right now.

As for Crush Guy, if he didn't actually speak, it's hard to really know what's happening in his head.

Highlights of MY dorkiness:

My Ho and I toured three alpaca farms last weekend, and I'm positively dying with longing to own one of my own so that I can have piles and piles of yarn from my own alpaca to knit with. I'll probably drag my kids to another one this weekend.

The queen of the dorks would be ME.


From: CombatGirl
To: EverydaySuperGoddess
Subject: RE: I am a dork

No, I think the Queen (or King?) of the Dorks would be whoever decided to call the alpaca website AlpacaNation. ALPACANATION! Sounds a little too Sandinista-ish for a bunch of farmers.

I rescind my earlier opinion... You ARE approaching dorkiness. But maybe, in the bigger sense, it's merely a matter of perspective: to the Alpaca Nation, you are becoming cooler by the minute.


From: EverydaySuperGoddess
To: CombatGirl
Subject: RE: I am a dork

Toldja.


From: CombatGirl
To: EverydaySuperGoddess
Subject: RE: I am a dork

To sum up: we may be dorky... and there are those in the world who love us, not in spite of, but because of our dorkiness, and, further, who love us precisely because of our precise dorkiness. THAT's what I'm looking for.

If buying an alpaca would bring you great joy, I say go for it.


From: EverydaySuperGoddess
To: CombatGirl
Subject: RE: I am a dork

It would, but realistically, I need to buy a new computer and braces for Demigoddess the Elder first. So I haven't completely lost my mind.

My Ho insists that he is finding all of this very endearing, so I guess that proves your point.


Part II

From: CombatGirl
Sent: Tuesday, October 04, 2005
To: EverydaySuperGoddess
Subject: Dork No Longer!

Guy I Have A Crush On called me this morning--he said he was going to call me last night but that he didn't want to bug me so he didn't (in other words, was aware he could potentially appear dorky, I guess). Apparently, at least some of my dorkiness is only in my head. Good to know.

However, if I come up with anything better than alpaca farming, I'll let you know. I thought I had the world-at-large trumped on dorkiness with my proclivity for scrapbooking, but... now it's big business. Had a friend in high school (guy) who was into muzzle-loading, which could beat the alpaca thing. Or, if you were one of those guys who likes to dress up as though you were in the Civil War and reenact it, that might be the ultimate.


From: EverydaySuperGoddess
To: Combat Girl
Subject: RE: Dork No Longer!

Right. And I have never camped out overnight to purchase movie tickets of any kind. Nor have I ever dressed in a costume to attend a movie. Not even Rocky Horror.

Technically, I wouldn't be alpaca "farming," I'd be "agisting," which means I'd be paying someone to keep it at their farm for me...


From: CombatGirl
To: EverydaySuperGoddess
Subject: RE: Dork No Longer!

Didn't dress up for Rocky Horror, but boy, did I ever throw toast. And cover my head w/newspaper during the rain scenes, etc.

"Agisting". Hmm. Dorkier than farmer.


From: EverydaySuperGoddess
To: CombatGirl
Subject: RE: Dork No Longer!

Yep. See? I totally win.