Friday, September 23, 2005


Demigoddess the Younger’s sleepover birthday party is happening tonight. She invited five friends, all of whom accepted (damn), which means that I will have a total of seven junior-high girls in my home.


Now, our house has a half story upstairs, and there is a bathroom up there, as well as a stereo and TV. I'll be bringing a VCR up for the occasion, also. We spent a significant amount of time clearing out the majority of the toys, so there is now plenty of floor space to accommodate everyone’s sleeping bags and pillows. My bedroom is downstairs, and the stairway between the two floors has a door that closes. We have hosted sleepover birthday parties upstairs a number of times before, and, so far, they have always gone off without incident (knock wood). But nevertheless, I am afraid.

When a group of junior-high girls gathers, there are myriad ways in which things could go terribly wrong. The mind boggles at the possibilities. And to complicate matters, this Goddess gets a tiny bit grumpy when she is deprived of sleep. Especially when she is deprived of sleep by other people’s children.

But the cupcakes have been baked, and the gift bags have been assembled. I'm as ready as I'm ever gonna be. Bring 'em on.

This morning as I was getting ready for work, the Demigoddesses were in the kitchen putting breakfast together, and I overheard Demi the Younger say to Demi the Elder something about using grape juice and her Snoopy Snow Cone Machine to make faux margaritas for her guests later tonght.

I went immediately into the kitchen.

“No,” I said.

“No. Here is what’s going to happen tonight: Your friends will come over at 7:30 p.m. We will sing happy birthday, we will eat cake and ice cream, and you will open your gifts. Then, I will give you a cooler full of pop, I will give you lots of chips and candy, and I will give you videos, all of which you will take upstairs. You will shut the door behind you, and I do not want to see your faces again until morning. Clear?”

“We can’t come downstairs?”

“No. Do not come downstairs unless you are in need of serious medical attention. I'm talking high fevers, projectile vomiting, or bleeding out the eyes.”

I may have to put something heavy in front of the door, just to be sure.


mothergoosemouse said...

Oh my. Do they have access to a telephone upstairs? Can they climb out the window to sneak out and toilet paper boys' houses? I remember what we used to do at slumber parties in junior high. Hopefully they will just drink all the soda and have dance contests and do slam books all night long. Or am I stuck in a Judy Blume novel?

Melanie Lynne Hauser said...

I hope they're cooperating....did you threaten to take embarrassing photos of them if they didn't behave?

EverydaySuperGoddess said...

THAT is a brilliant idea. I wish I had thought of it.

Sadly, I won't be able to use it, as I am never allowing a sleepover birthday party in my home ever, EVER again.