Thursday, September 22, 2005

Praise the Lord and Pass the Clicker, Storm Tracker Edition

Things very nearly got very ugly at my house last night. Developing severe thunderstorms meant that all network programming, including the Lost premier, was pre-empted by a gaggle of local weather forecasters jumping up and down and waving their arms in front of swirling, multi-colored, computer-generated storm tracker graphics and screeching about flying lawn chairs (ACK!) and downed trees (EEK!). Funnel clouds! Golf ball-size hail! Cash in your life insurance, kids, because it’s the END OF CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT! GAAAAAAAAH!

A case of Katrina/Rita envy, perhaps? Thunderstorms and tornados are about as close as Minnesota is ever going to come to a category 4 hurricane. And while I could appreciate the needs of our local weather-casters to feel included in the severe weather attention that has been all over the media of late, when they mess with my much-anticipated night of television bliss? Well.

Let’s just say it's a darn good thing that UPN decided to take a much more reserved approach to the situation, and only aired weather updates during the commercials on America’s Next Top Model. ‘Cuz things were teetering dangerously on the brink of getting Medieval at my house, and when that happens, there exists no hail big enough, no straight-line winds powerful enough to prevent me from exacting my vengeance all OVER your sorry storm-tracker ass. I’ve got your category 4 hurricane RIGHT HERE.

Fortunately for them and me, there is a new Top Model HOUSE. A house that is decorated to look like a department store... only with, ooh! A hot tub! And a POOL! With a shoe room and a handbag room! My friends, THAT is my own personal idea of Nirvana.

The Lost premier did air later, after the storm blew over. So, while things did not, in the end, get ugly at MY house, it turns out that things truly did get ugly at about a dozen houses in Andover, and in many of the northern suburbs of Minneapolis.

And yeah, I feel appropriately like an ass.

3 comments:

Amy said...

You feel like an ass? I'm watching CNN and thinking, ooo, this'll make a great Discovery channel special in a year or two!

Signed,
Clueless in the 'burbs

Melanie Lynne Hauser said...

But thank goodness you were spared. It does feel as if Biblical plagues and locusts are decending upon this country, though, doesn't it?

Meghan said...

As R.E.M. sang "It's the end of the world as we know it".

Floods, plagues, and gas is so expensive people can barely afford to fill up their SUV's! How much wind resistence does a "W" bumper sticker create?