What do you do with a guy who doesn’t want to spend time with his kids?
(In what universe does that question even make sense?)
What do you do when, after spending less than 24 hours with her dad (the only time she has seen him in a month) your 14-year-old child comes home, walks directly into your arms and says, “I’m glad to be home. I like it better here.”
I suppose that’s an improvement over the times she has come home crying, but it doesn’t seem like much of a victory.
Last week she told me she’d discovered that one of her best new junior high friends is in a similar situation. Her friend’s dad moved cross-country after marrying another version of the Universally Hated Step Psycho. She seemed so relieved to have found a friend who understands how it feels to have been significantly demoted on her dad’s list of priorities.
He pushes them away, and then makes the time they do spend with him a misery and a chore, so he can turn around and tell me that they don't want to be with him anyway. That they're better off with me. That he's being a good dad by removing himself from their lives.
I want to rage. I want to condemn. I want to pound on him until he feels every ounce of their heartbreak times ten. I want to shake him until he GETS IT. I want him to suffer and suffer and suffer because I am so, so angry.
But in the end, all I can do is hug her back and say, “I’m sorry, baby.”
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8 comments:
This makes me cry! Thank God you are there for them!
That's pretty goddamned jive. Is this the same shitheel I read about in your sister's blog a few months ago? I'm not surprised he hasn't improved. I hope he shits himself lonely in his nursing home.
This is just a suggestion, but have you considered rubbing steak on his groin and then turning a pack of rabid wolves on him? It wouldn't really teach him emotional empathy, but it might prove cathartic for you.
Prego, I'm not sure which post you're referring to on Meghan's blog, but the odds are good that it's the same shitheel.
And Joe, that is an excellent suggestion. I'll definitely keep that in mind. Do you happen to have an extra pack of rabid wolves I could borrow, just for a bit?
Steak on the groin and rabid wolves?
That reminds me...I have a date tonight.
Post - Word verification - WELFABB.
Does that make me the gay?
That is heartbreaking. I want to say, he'll get his later when they are old enough to choose and they choose not to see him. But, he seems like such a prick that he won't care, it will probably be a relief.
Dick.
Ack! That makes me want to scream.
There was a book I used to read to My old boyfrfiend Dean's neices. It was about divorce, and there was a story about how after her parents divorce a girl kept going back to an ampty well, hoping to find water, and how after a certain amount of tries, it's best to find a new well. One with water in it. I think you are dealin gwith an empty well. Approriately nicknamed EW. EEEEW. for excessively, extremely, exceedingly emtpy well. EEEEW.
Okay, if my Mom can state her opinion like that, I will too. This is an old post, I know, but it still makes me angry. I absolutely adore both of my parents. Both of them have brought great joy as well as great pain to my life. I respect and admire the honsety of those who replied, but am also offended and saddened by the name-calling and disrespect. My father is a very good parent and no one can truly know that but me or my sister. I am very happy that there are no other posts like this one, but I still feel that my opinion should be stated. The first time I read this I cried a lot. It really hurt my feelings. If anyone should read this, I hope that you understand that my dad is not a 'Shitheel' or a 'Dick' he is a human being and no human being should have those things said about them. Anyways, I just want you to know that I do love my dad very very much and that he's a really good guy.
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